Contractions, Bacchae, and the Notorious BIG

So...Google has this feature called web history where you can see everything you've ever searched for on google, by date-- as well as how many searches. (As long as you were logged in to google when you searched for it...and I'm always logged into gmail, so this was a freaky, embarrassing, thrilling discovery.)

Since June 2008 (when I got gmail) I have performed 13,924 google searches. Yes, that's amost 14,000. Which means nearly 7,000 per year which translates to 19 searches per day. Oh my! I should be the smartest person in the world by now, right? Well, not actually. You'll see below some of the things I've googled in the past 2 years:

"what do contractions feel like?" (Answer: "They feel like someone taking all of your insides and squeezing them, while tearing them out, and at the same time lighting all of those insides on fire, literally.")
"beaver island"
"Salvatore Polichetti" (the singer in this favorite video of mine)
"why are asians so smart??"
"why do women live longer than men?"
"how to calculate percent increase"
"is the world ending or what?"
"jennifer larose"
"camorra italy"
"havasupai falls"
"notorious BIG"
"merry wives cafe"
"bacchae"
"lawsuit PWC overtime"
"can i skip my period on the pill?"
"pros and cons of homeschooling"
"how to combine graphs in stata?"
"how to speak with a transatlantic accent" (heard in this neat video, 21 Accents)
"canker sores due to vitamin deficiency?"
"humans who harbor an infectious organism"
"can quadriplegics give birth?"
"head transplant"
"moralistic therapeutic deism"
"red bumpy rash on elbow"
"cheap flights from allentown to detroit" (from july '08)
"breastfeeding artwork"

Now isn't that fun?