Thoughts on myself

Remember how blogging is inherently narcissistic? Well, I will now lean into that. I found this self-analysis, written by my 16 year old self back in December 2003-- and it's freakishly accurate 6 years later, according to aaron.

"I am: Pensive. Kind. Cynical.

Thoughtful. Humorous.

Shy. Clever. Calm. Private.

Mature. Creative. Empathetic. 

Passive. Critical. Sentimental. 

Gentle. Independent.

I am not: 

Outgoing. Talkative. Affectionate.

Trusting. Insincere. Demanding. 

Assertive. Brave. Competitive. 

Cheerful. Organized. Naive. 

Argumentative. Excitable."

I really like digging through my old blogs (and when i log in, i discover all the private posts that i never published) and laughing.. Mostly, because i sounded so similar to the way i do now. It's amazing how much who i am as a person has not changed, ever. One of my earliest memories is being 3 years old sitting in a grocery carriage. My mom walked down the aisle to grab something, and a person walked up to me, leaned their face close to mine, and said something like, 'look how cute you are, what's your name little girl?" I covered my face with my hands and twisted away, upset that this strange person was talking to me, and, where was my mom?

Such remained my personality for many years; to this day i'd prefer not to talk to random strangers. If someone on the bus or airplane were to attempt some friendly conversation, they just might receive a death stare. I would be tempted to say, "i'm sorry you forgot to bring a book to occupy yourself, but I didn't forget, so leave me be so i can read in peace." Except, the thing is i'm still kind and I know deep down I would love them after 5 minutes of conversing, so i would never say that. But I just don’t wish to converse.

I secretly love people a lot, shocking as that may seem. Nothing makes me happier than seeing other people reaching out to someone who looks sad or lonely. Last week on the bus a man boarded in his wheelchair. I noticed he couldn't move his fingers. At a bumpy part in the road, he dropped his glasses and they slid across the floor. A woman got up from her seat, put them back on his face, and sat next to him for the duration of the ride, chatting and helping him as necessary. "Happy Holidays to you!" she sang as she departed. That made my whole day. 

Another time on the bus, I noticed a woman board and in her hand she carried a large, silver 'happy birthday!' balloon. She sat by herself, the balloon string clutched tightly in her hands. She had that look of loneliness, it's a look i can't explain but i see it a lot and it makes me want to cry. I wondered who at work had known it was her birthday, who had brought that balloon in to her. I wondered if it was a tradition in her department, where everyone got balloons on their birthday. Or if someone had singled her out, made an extra effort to celebrate. As i sat there noticing her out of the corner of my eye, a part of me wanted to fold the page over in my book, and go chat with her- ask her about the balloon. (That's what my dad would do.) 

But I'm not like my dad in that way. Instead, i remained where i sat and did what i do.

Will that aspect of myself ever change? Maybe, if i tried really hard. My reticence is deeply ingrained. As of now, i'm ok with it; I am who I am.

 

- - -

Speaking of old blogs, i found this post my little brother Matt wrote back in 2004. He had hacked onto my xanga site and written a fake post pretending to be me. It was too hilarious so instead of getting mad, i just made it private. Five years later it is still funny to me. And for the record, I hated math, studying, and 'personal progress'.

"I am a, how do you say, a geek. My hobbies include reading 1,000 page books and studying math in a corner while everybody else is out on dates. I don't have many friends, but I do hang out with my little brothers sometimes if my doctor orders me to. My skin complexion is very pale because I spend so much time inside studying. Some call it unhealthy, but I call it dedication! Some of my other hobbies include making bread, sewing, going to church, working on my personal progress for young women's, seminary, and watching G-rated movies. You may think that just because I spend so much time studying that I dont have time for the opposite sex, but I have been "romantically involved" with the seminary president! To add variety, I had a brief fling with a non-Mormon.  It was wicked and vile, but very exciting. It taught me the evils of necking and petting. I was born to a couple of ex-sinners, now converts to the word of God, who raised me very well. They taught me that sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you. This was probably the most important piece of advice I have ever recieved on account of the tauntings I received for not fitting in with the wicked and adulterous students of my school." - Jennifer L. LaRose Matthew E. LaRose

- - -

To conclude: Some photos from the great era of high school. (Thanks to webshots)

graduation...a devious little brother of mine

2004...me and my 3 best high school friends

Us children with sweet Tootsie, RIP

10th grade bio: Mrs. Thatcher and the "Brain Trust".  She willingly held up this sign despite our mediocrity. 

One of my favorite all-time photos: Bones's funeral gathering (Bones was the giant green talking macaw)

end of 10th grade Don pablos celebration with some favorite people

prom...i loved my dress. (i wore that same necklace when i got married)

The...End

The Sunday Evening Post

I have a few scattered things to say about this or that.

• Aaron and I got new glasses. I feel like a real grownup now. I've never picked out eyeglasses without my mom before. (which ones did i pick? it's a mystery)

• Pomegranates are a beautiful fruit. I was transfixed by the seeds tonight- those garnet gems of goodness.
• I love getting random letters from my mom in the mail...they make my day. (she is the master of the lost art of letter-writing)
• Kneading bread can be mildly therapeutic.
• The library-- like a squirrel forages nuts for the wintertime, so do i forage books for aaron's busy season. I have 2 books out and 8 books on reserve (I'm number 1, 2, 2, 4, 6, 9, 29, and 187 respectively.) I will keep a running list of the books i read from now through March, it may be lengthy.
• Speaking of squirrels. There are a lot of squirrels here in michigan. U of M even has a squirrel club. The other day, temperatures dipped below freezing and i became concerned about their plight. I googled, "where do squirrels go in the winter?" (1,250,000 results, it's a common concern you see) and i found out they don't go anywhere. Rather, they snuggle in the trees with their family members to keep warm. I decided that this is how I would like to spend my winter as well.
• Aaron: "Are you almost done with your blog? I want to love with you." (e.g. cuddle and eat oreos, very PG)
• "Almost, my dear. Almost. Just a few more bullets."
• We still have our mattress in the living room; we are thinking of leaving it throughout the winter. It's warmer down there. It's cozy. It's right next to our christmas plant. And every night feels like a slumber party.
• christmas plant:

• Something that is great: i started my christmas shopping, a week earlier than average.
• Number of weddings i am not attending next week but was invited to: 3
• Number of people i currently miss: ~14
• A person i admire.
• a t-shirt i like
• *Edit: I forgot to add, we redboxed "Paper Heart" over the weekend. I liked it, until i fell asleep 3/4 of the way through. So i don't know how it ends.
• Clicking publish: in 4 seconds

Most sincerely,

Jennifer Lee LaRose-Adams

Gracias Giving!

A recent Thanksgiving history re-cap:

• 2004 was the last thanksgiving i spent at home in PA with my family, holy cow still in high school...
• 2005 was with monica's relatives in herriman; 1st college thanksgiving
• 2006 was monica and I cooking together for people in the ward without nearby relatives
• 2007 was cooking with my roommates for a billion people//roadtripping with aaron to visit aubrey and her family in las vegas
• 2008 was with aaron's family in draper (and my brother matt came too)
• 2009 will be in maine with (finally!) my family (and aaron, because duh- we don't separate)
• 2010 will be...no idea yet. I'd love to host it myself and make the people come to us...but that won't happen til we have kids!

(For the record, this year I'm giving thanks for diplomas, fridays, libraries, family near and far, warmth, cake, airplanes, money, and above all love, because love is all you need...all you need is love)

Now we're running off to the airport, adios and happy thanksgiving!
(and please bless that we don't miss our flight due to a blog post)

It is not good for man to be alone

As i sip my first hot chocolate of the season and watch an old agatha christie film (death on the nile), I realize i don't mind as much that aaron sometimes works until 9 p.m.

I choose not to cook on days like today, and instead dined once again on turkish delights.

(It is sometimes, but just barely, good for woman to be alone.)

a cliche ode to weekends

I post often on saturdays--because saturdays are special days. (To quote the primary song).  But truly, weekends- especially since we began working fulltime- are scrumtrelescent. Today, for example, a saturday, was costco; a beautiful drive; a hazy nap; a turkish restaurant; a new movie; exercise. Last weekend may have been something like barnes and noble; a new recipe; a hot tub on a cold night; staying under covers until 10 a.m.; buying gallons of various juices at the store because we were thirsty. But it doesn't matter what it is; any combination of those livens my soul. 

On monday mornings we wake up slowly, reluctantly; holding each other as we stubbornly try to squeeze the last few remaining drops out of the weekend, as it fades into another week.

happy templeversary

I finally got a library card at the ann arbor library. There's a branch right down the street, and i really like the building- kind of perched on a hill, wood floors and wood ceilings, and desks occupied by smart-looking people working on their macs. I brought home a stack of books a foot high. 

 I got asked about 6 times yesterday if me and aaron were planning to dress up for halloween. (that was 6 no's.) I suppose i could dress up- last time I was home I found my old gypsy costume from when I was like 8 or 9. It actually fits now. But i haven't washed it so it still smells like the basement storage. I also have a few of my mom's old dresses from the 70's that are really awesome and they fit, so i could be a disco queen. Plus i have my grandmother's wedding dress from the early 50's (it doesn't look like a wedding dress & it's blue) and an antique white apron so i could be a 50's housewife. But i think i'll wear normal things because it is cold outside. 

 In other exciting news, when we don't make it to the gym, i do this pilates dvd. It's mildly addicting. I love the instructor- she's very mellow, has lots of freckles, and doesn't say too many cheesy things. If you'd like to attempt to ‘master the art of muscle control’, i'd recommend it. 

 I can't believe it's almost november. did october even exist? Strange. I am super boring today...this blogging action is putting me to sleep. So i'm going to paz afuera. That's how my brother matt signs his emails...separately each word means 'peace' and 'out' but they don't actually make sense in espanol. but i think it's funny. Kind of reminds me of a joke..."que hora es cuando necesitas ir al dentista?" "dos y media!" jaja. It's an english joke that doesn't translate. what time is it when you need to go to the dentist? 2:30! (TOOTH HURTY!) 

 paz afuera. and happy halloween.

Saturday afternoon, or, post #87

This condo is really starting pull itself together. I think it's the plants. One of the things that i thought was funny and liked about aaron was his love of plants. He had the coolest plants in his apartment at byu and it reminded me of my dad, who also loves house plants. he tenderly waters them each saturday. And now that we have visited the home depot nursery and returned with 3 large plants, this place feels like a home. of course, home is a state of mind. i've found home in the most unlikely of places. 

It's rained a lot lately; i like lying in bed listening to the rain against the window. Now what would be good would be a massive thunder and lightning storm. i would like one. 

This week i ate a lot of cake and guac. both homemade, so that's not as bad i hope. I had never made guacamole before but it was so freaking delicious. avocados, cilantro, onion, serrano, lime juice, salt. I knew the basic ingredients and just kind of made it up as i went along. It was mexican week, and let me say that I love homemade tacos so deeply. They are healthy, fresh, & so abundant in flavor. The tortilla, some chicken for Aaron, avocado, cilantro, onion, tomato, and lime. [with rice and black beans, por supuesto.] Sweet sister lizzy sing me a sweet song of joy! 

 My brother is stationed in a little village near the border in new mexico on his mission...it sounds so different and I’m fascinated.  i have a not-so-secret desire to live in new mexico or arizona someday- have my own chile farm, or that sort of thing. Of course, i have a multitude of desires so i'm curious to see where life leads. 

 Sometimes at work I think i am the only person there without career goals/passions. everyone is so very ambitious. (in fact, i may be one of only a couple people in the entire unit who has only one degree. I'll be talking to someone and then later look them up on the website and find, 'oh so they're a MD/PhD/MPH' (yes all three). People are crazy!! I mean, brilliant, but crazy. (it's like that country song, "god is great, beer is good, and people are crazy").    

I will forever be plagued by my 'type B' personality but it has its perks. I am really skilled at relaxing, for example. 

Well, there’s only so much I can say on a Saturday afternoon.  I now take my leave! 

Week Links

("You ah the weakest link, g'bye!")

These are some things I found on the internet this week that I enjoyed, and you may enjoy: (i may or may not have been distracted at work)

• 1 in 8 million: New York Times profile of a Chinese lds sister missionary serving in NYC, who converted while studying at BYU. It's really sweet and worth listening to.
  
• Blog of unnecessary quotation marks: I laughed and laughed at this, but maybe that's just because i'm "into" grammar, and I thought Eats, Shoots and Leaves was "funny".
  
• Young mormon marrieds at BYU-I: a senior BFA photo exhibit from a couple years ago done as a subculture documentary. some of the couples look totally normal, some look...well, a little creepy. i like how real it is.
  
• Vinto: new pizza place in SLC. wish i was there, so check it out for me! Pizza here in A2 (the local jargon for ann arbor; i am hip) is coming up short so far. poor little me and my humble quest.
  
• Orson Scott Card's weekly column; this was about expectations and the work force, regarding women. I love him and his writing and his thoughts.
  
• Washington Post article about the benefits of marrying young(er). how nice to be validated!

That's all for now. Don't even ask how i find such random things. i am the master of the internet. (mistress?)

3 p.m. on September 16th, 2009:

I have showered at night the past few evenings, rather than at 6 a.m. I like it. I didn't like when today i had to have my picture taken for the hallway staff board. it was atrocious. I look like i really do just roll out of bed into work. shoot. In other vanity news, i am refusing to wear my hair down (i.e. not in a ponytail) until it has grown about 4 more inches. (so not until next spring basically) I got it cut in june but it just does not look normal. It could be that when i got it cut in november 2008 the hairlady used scissors and thinned it out. at the time, i really didn't know what to say. Although in the back of my mind i logistically realized that while it would be good and thin for about 4 months, eventually the new hair would grow in. So I think the top half of my hair is thicker than the bottom half. problems. as you can see i have a really hard life.

Lunch break

I love free food as much as the next person, but yet I am supremely suspicious of free unlabeled mystery springroll-ish wraps. I poke and prod at them, never quite brave enough to assume they are vegetarian. Then i pull out the plastic knife, dig around, and next thing you know i have a plate of mangled food. But now i know and life can commence as usual: eggplant.
---
Just yesterday I discovered that I work about 3 blocks away from the following: borders, panera, starbucks, silvio's, the theatre, CHIPOTLE, rocky mountain chocolate factory, the U of M bookstore, and more. For some reason i thought I was in some remote part of town. hmm. i told you i get disoriented without the mountains.
---
My main point i wanted to mention in this blog is that I managed to read each book on my summer reading list, and then some more- at least 15 in total. I would recommend each book on that linked list, particularly the top two. I even plan on reading the sequel to 'the hunger games'. It was that good. Of course throughout the summer I read a book or two that definitely does not fall under my top favorite 250 books list. I would mention them, but i also wouldn't. So i won't.

But! Also! (Transition!) let it be known that being a college graduate is a dream come true for my inner book worm. I read all the time now. Nothing holds me back. Did i ever tell you about the time (i think i did, come to think of it) when i re-entered public school in 4th grade and made it a point to read each book in the prolific classroom library by the end of the schoolyear? I read books at recess (alternating with playing the flute.) I read books at lunch. And the funny thing is i haven't changed. I always prefer reading to socializing in large amorphous groups. I have no shame in hiding from the world. Books and pianos: my safe havens. My husband is my safe haven as well. He and i are socially similar, and that is reason #761 why i like him quite a bit, you could say. QUITE a bit.

Why, this post is all over the place! Thus, the end.

A few greats, as of late:

(or, 'I miss bullets')

• peach-pear italian soda from target
• free books on aaron's kindle
• new $20 jeans!
• sunset bike rides around the lake
• the bus, which i will soon ride
• the stack of old photos i borrowed from bunna's house, i need a scanner, please and thank you.
• 10:30 bedtimes...uh...10:30-ish
• 8 am to 4 pm workdays
• watching aaron listen to boyzIImen videos
• GPS. not only is she a great navigator, but a great companion. my 'little lady'.

---

So i stumbled on a blog of a friend of a friend of a friend who recently got married. This is what she wrote in her first post: "I feel like only married people should have blogs, because the single life just isn't that interesting. Don't get me wrong, if you have a blog right now and you're single... you're obviously cooler than me, because your life is obviously interesting enough to blog about. But my single life consisted of the same thing every day.... aka boring. BUT now that I'm married I can join the blogging crew! Yay me!" Wow good thing i'm married, how embarrassing that i blogged when i was single. ack!

---

Lastly, i first saw this video like a year ago, and she melted my heart and made me want french babies. Although i wanted spanish-speaking babies first. Can't you hear the little "hola's!" already? Anyway, here is Capucine telling a story- i love the way she says the animals.

Peace Ponyo Pizza

This is not a review but I wanted to say that we (except for aaron; part IV of the CPA exam is in 6 hours and he is/was studying) saw the japanese children's movie "Ponyo" tonight and it was strange. But then I left the theatre feeling strangely happy. It was a heartwarming sort of strange. I think i recommend it. In fact, I do recommend it. This man is my favorite movie reviewer and has been for years and years. Read what he wrote about Ponyo here. (it is so dead-on) 

 --- 

I've been thinking tonight about the Peace Corps. It sounds like heaven. I know it's cliche but I want to join. Us to join. Not now, but someday. I've given this a whole 7 minutes of thought so bare with me. (there's that phrase again...i don't mean strip down) It's just...exactly how i want to live. Peru or ecuador. I could teach health programs, aaron- business sorts of things. 27 months. Like a mission, but not religious. Just for the sake of improving lives, increasing knowledge. Maybe we'd have to wait until we're 50 and our last child has graduated high school, and that's ok. I just feel a little thrilled knowing that option is there. 

 --- 

Everyone knows i have a passionate love for settebello right? Well, it's no longer within reach. I need quality napoletana pizza STAT! (I love STAT, i could just say it all day long. i need a banana STAT! Aaron needs to come home from work STAT! I would like new socks, STAT!) Unforunately, I have yet to find a replacement pizza- one with good italian flour in the crust, the right oven, fresh cheese, and tomatoes that aren't in a thick, unappealing sauce. I have been particularly in tune with pizza sauces as of late. (in tune i swear it, i can read them like a book) It only takes one taste to know it's not quality. Silvio's had way too much sugar, for instance. Which I do appreciate, since far too many sauces are too acidic or bitter. 

 --- 

So what does it all mean?

There is no peace corps in japan. There are no italian pizzas in ecuador. I think it just means i had 3 things on my mind tonight & they all began with P.

I'm blogging too much, i know!

...but I felt this intense need to share with people this Dutch department store's website. It made me inexplicably giggly. I felt like a 6 month old watching a mobile hanging over her crib during naptime. If you click on that link, just have your sound on a little bit and don't click anything else once you get there. 

 --- 

 Tonight, we switch the baby monitor in our bedroom to the "off" position. The 3 days of sitting on babies was a success. Early mornings and diapers aside, it was definitely worth the Mackinac Island fudge we got as a reward. Do i crave children of my own? oh yes. But the thing is, i don't crave babies. I think i like children more. So knowing that they are babies first makes me able to wait a while longer. Is that weird? yes. But that's alright. 

 --- 

 We've been looking up temporary sub-leasing opportunities since we're unlikely to close on a place anytime in the next month at least. Aaron sure found a great bargain. Maybe we should consider? 

"$200 - Nudist work for rent Male nudist willing to share one bedroom apartment on Westside Ann Arbor. Willing to exhange work, personal chores, or services...$150/month if you don't mind the nudity, smoking, etc...I'm very casual but neat. If you're still interested please let me know more about you, your life, and your views expecially as they concern casual nudity. Picture and personal description greatly appreciated, include 'bare' in the subect line of reply." 

Wonder what he means by "personal chores or services"....hmmmm. We don't mind nudity, but it's the smoking that gets us. Begrudgingly, I pass. 

 --- 

 (We could always just become professional house sitters...like this guy, Monte. House sitter, pet lover. Aaron thought this was creepy, he then said something funny but it's too inappropriate for this blog. Anyway, for $15/day monte will rotate your blinds. And take out all that garbage that must be accumulating while you're away...just kidding, except, i'm not! but i do feel bad cause he looks like a sweet guy so i hope he never googles "monte pet lover" and finds how i wrote about him...)

(It's naptime)

We're babysitting these little boys for the next 3 days:

I figure at the end of 3 days I'll either a.) be tired & ready to hand them over (with ovary urges sated for a while), or b). want my own...on the double!   These boys are extremely loveable and fun so i hope it's not the latter...aaron and me, we've got an agenda; bebes aren't in it this soon.

It's interesting going out in public with them. At the grocery store today, we split up- I had Tyler, Aaron had Brady. I overheard one woman say to Aaron, "Aww-- he looks just like you!" Aaron mumbled a quick "thanks." I giggled. (They are Aaron's half-brothers, my half-brothers-in-law. But for the next few days we'll just take the credit for them since it's harder to explain how such little boys could be Aaron's brothers)

At the cash register, the cashier lady was confused. "wow. are they....twins??" We: "yep!" She: "but they don't even have the same color hair...one's blonde, the other is...brown..." Aaron in his mind: "uhh...duh." Me: "Yeah I know, crazy!!" (It's really not that crazy)

Life these days

Oh I just remembered that time I told everyone I'd start blogging more in Michigan! Heaven help me and my lofty goals. Well anyway, here I am. As an update of sorts, right now my days are spent learning my way around Michigan and condo-hunting. We originally planned on just renting. Yeah that plan fizzled when we saw all the nasty student-oriented apartments around Ann Arbor. I mean $800/month for what?? Like 400 square terrible feet? And, that's right, we're not students. anymore. Students of life, maybe, students of adulthood, but not students of college! (no auras of superiority found here mind you, just the facts) Storytime. We visited one complex rental office and told them we wanted a 1-bedroom apartment. "You each want a 1-bedroom apartment?" No, we want one 1-bedroom apartment. "It's not allowed to have 2 people share a 1-bedroom apartment." Uh...we're married. "The rules are one bedroom per person." Well then...that settles that. (the 2-bedroom apartments were $1600/month) Ay.

 

Also, we're both starting our jobs on the 24th-- he here me there. More details to come?

What else should I say? blogging can be weird cause I don't treat it like a daily journal, nor do I express things as openly as I'd like, because let's face it. I can't write about anyone because everyone I know reads this. I don't like to write too much about myself because that feels narcissistic. Although I suppose blogging is inherently narcissistic. I could vent like I have done often, but then I feel like a raving nut. I could talk about how incredible of a human being my husband is, but that would be bragging. I could skimp on gritty details and just write things like, "last night we went to a BoyzIIMen concert and a romantic dinner on the detroit riverfront and it was special!" Although, really, it was.

I think I'll just keep on keeping on. fair enough.

p.s. i just edited this post to change one of my verbs from the passive voice to the active voice. "were planning" to "planned"; I think i use the passive voice often. Now i'm scared. I'm scared i noticed this when I never before have. I'll try not to think about it in the future. 

 --------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, check this out. Fallen princesses! there's 8 photos so click on each. i enjoyed.

I-80 Observations

....and things along the way.

• nebraska is seriously cold...high of 68, the heck?
• windmills are beautiful
• walnut iowa is beautiful; now that is a town worth visiting
• hotel breakfasts that end at 9 AM are what kept us from sleeping in past 8:55.
• construction.
• mcdonald's southwest salad...i discovered this and it is wonderful
• oh and the hot fudge sundae's with extra hot fudge...they haven't changed since i was a kid. another reason why walnut iowa is beautiful is because the old man cashier didn't charge me 40 cents for the extra hot fudge, saying "that's how i like it too" with a little wink.
• iowans are trustworthy...i was brilliant and left my car window rolled down all night long...in the morning we walked outside and aaron thought someone had broken into my car & smashed the window, i had a near heart attack til i realized it was just rolled down and nothing was stolen, wowzers!
• the ride was spent listening to the 5 browns (dangerously soothing, i near fell asleep); la nozze di figaro; vows: a priest, a nun and their son (book on cd); in-flight arabic (you never know when you'll run into a terrorist! teehee old joke) and various comedy cd's. the good thing about driving separately was we could each listen to whatever we wanted. and sing.
• i'm done with the bullets, after 3 days i should have more bullets but i'm done. now, a photo mosaic!

Oops

I typed a post a few days ago when i wasn't connected to the internet & forgot to post it. i'm not actually in utah anymore but i decided to post it anyhow down below.

***

Yes, so we're in ogallala nebraska! you know, i picked this town because i liked the name. And then it worked out to be exactly 1/3 of the way to our destination, so thus it became the lodging place for our trip's 1st leg. i wouldn't recommend moving here, because it is cold. Cold is never appropriate in july.

thank you and goodnight.

Bare With Me*

I really don't know what I'm about to say but i thought it'd be fitting to type one last blog post from utahpia. 

We depart tuesday morn- in a way it can't come fast enough. But yet on that morn i will mourn. 

Utah has been so many things to me.  I will miss it all- the mountains, of course, i love them so. They make me feel protected,  as if I am cupped in their hand. They guide me home. Perched on their peaks while skiing fills me with waves of reverence- nothing is more spiritual for me than a quiet place on a mountain.

Of course, i'll also miss the bounteous mexican food (and mis Mexicanos).  Additionally: dry heat. I-15. Moab. Diego's, Settebello, Bombay House, Zupa's (our 1st date), Cafe Rio, chick-fil-a (we'll be an hour away). Aaron's family, my friends. quality people.

You know, the past few years i've lived here have been the most monumental de mi vida. To me, the years since 2005 were the years in which I evolved into a real person. Not just an adult, but a person. It's funny because the years i was in high school, say 2001 to 2005, i feel i remained stagnant; there wasn't a noticeable amount of wisdom, personality or character development. But 2005 to 2009, those have been blessed years. I feel like i'm so very nearer to the person i'm to ultimately become. But i probably have a lot further to go, it was only 4 years. Maybe each time i begin a new phase of life i'll become a little more complete.

On a less contemplative note, I am bouncing in my chair about driving I-80 to our next home. I am ready. I think living in the basement in bountiful the last few months helped with that. I need my own kitchen STAT! i miss our cooking.

*I went back and forth on the title of this post for about 3 minutes. 'bare' with me or 'bear' with me? I went with the former. but now i'm thinking it looks like an invitation to come skinny dipping. So i should probably just change the title, but i'll leave it because to get to this point in the post you indeed had to bare with me.

Thursday Thought

It's the 2nd last day of my internship (glory be!) and i've spent it peeling off my dead skin, wondering why no one told me i wasn't supposed to be using a green pen the last 4 months, pondering if people would judge me if i end up working at barnes & noble with my bachelor's degree, and drinking coke. i love coke, of the non-diet (& non-drug, thus far) variety.

 

[the aforementioned green pen]

What was that? You'd like to see a picture of my dead skin? Well, ok.

Lo siento. (I really love taking cell-photos lately, they capture moments so well) 

 So...in other news. I forecast more blogging once we move to MI and have the internet at home...that's just an excuse. but seriously...more blogging. soon-ish. This post feels very uneven...that's all for today. 

 P.S. Wait that's not all...now I'm here at the library with aaron and we thought it would be appropriate to post a photo of his foot-- both our ailments are courtesy of the sun:

Cellular snippets!

Every year or so I purge my phone of the grainy yet plentiful images that lie within. The fun thing about cell phone photos is that you only take them when you didn't think the event would be noteable enough to bring your real camera. Thus, the random: (in random order)

   

This is a good find from an evening Borders browse

 

This is the time all us roommates had the same facebook status

 

This is the time after i got married...driving by myself from american fork to provo in my wedding dress in a snow storm, praying not to be pulled over.

 

This is the time we crashed a business gathering at the Mariott hotel because Ryan Shupe & the rubberband were playing...turns out, the asian business travelers weren't into them like we were...and we had the show to ourselves. along with some leftover half-eaten cheesecake...  

This book is pretty awesomely funny, of the LOL variety, especially after reading through the 11,002 things to be happy about book, once upon a time.  

This is the time when me & aaron went on our 3rd date, almost two years ago, june 9th 2007. We were watching fireworks in orem and i took this foto. Otherwise known as our first foto together. Awwww!

 

Speaking of awww, here is our first s'more together. 4th date, june 14th 2007. don't ask how i know these things.  

These are the fotos that make me realize i have a thing for people dressed as bunnies...creepster, i know. but don't they make you happy?

 

  

This is the time soon after getting married when I was constantly paranoid my birth control was going to fail me, like a cheap placebo- or that I would be one of the %.05. But it didn't, one pink line every time; eat drink & be merry!

 

This is the time last week when we craved Chick-fil-a and we were leaving SLC & the closest one was in the opposite direction- Murray. the trek was made.  

This is from the time when the ox was in the mire.

This is when we graduated

 

This is how aaron holds my wrist sometimes when he drives. i like it; it's very secure.

 

This is my bike 2 winters ago; how i found it after church. boy was i mad-- nothing like flying down the hill after church, my skirt blowing in the winds, scriptures on the handlebars...but not that blustery day.

I already posted sheri dew several posts ago, so- last one...a really fantastic green insect.

What we do, and then some

I'm posting live from the U of U health sciences library. I like our little routine we've gotten into-- every day, I work at the diabetes center for 5 or 6 hours, and then I drive over to the hospital, park in the patient lot, and walk through the college of medicine into the library, where I sneak on over to my studious husband and stealthily, so as not to disturb the med students, steal a few besos. He continues to study and I (using my handy UID) log onto the internet or read books. Boy do i have a great book to tell you about. another time. So we stay there for a few more hours, and then we walk out, hand in hand, until we realize the construction workers in the hallways may not have a hand to hold during their days, and we let go. And home we head. 

 Also, can i say a few words about pharmaceutical reps? Several days each week, they bring delicious food to the diabetes center conference room- macaroni grill, costa vida burritos, etc, enough to feed all the staff. Hundreds of dollars worth of food per day. They do it in hopes of bribing the 6 doctors into buying their drugs and pawning them off to the public; however most of us are not doctors and we run in, fill our plates to the brim, grab some cokes and giant cookies with m&m's, and scamper on out. i love it, but i don't see how they do...

 I was telling aaron that i would do some crazy things to learn spanish fluently. before marriage was imminent, i was pondering putting in mission papers and only accepting the call if it was spanish-speaking. I would then spend 18 months meeting interesting people and learning the language, cheaper than actually living abroad. The church would kill me if it knew my dirty plans. Aaron pointed out that there are more efficient ways to learn. like moving to spain in some years, where i would give birth to my first born; upon moving back to america my child would have a lispy spanish accent. And i'd sign up for aaron's current job of hospital interpreting. One must ponder the possibilities, musn't one. 

i love her

(my mom)













mom...hope you don't mind i posted all these! [happy mother's day] i figured it's better than a card...um well, i hope.

you are the greatest.

Summer Reading

After some recommendations and browsing the barnes & noble, i've acquired my list of books to read, even though it's incomplete. i was trying to avoid anything historical, political, any sort of educational, etc. as a symbol of no more college - yet i ended up with only 3 of the 6 being fiction. anywho. books books books:

The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University

And shockingly-- the unversity isn't BYU-- it's Liberty University, the largest Christian fundamentalist college in the US. The author transfers from an Ivy-league and writes about his experiences and the people he meets. The first few pages i read drew me in.

The Hunger Games
This is a futuristic dystopian novel compared to Farenheit 451, The Giver, Brave New World, Ender's Game, & the short story "the Lottery", & i loved all those. I actually bought this a few months ago but i haven't picked it up since it came in the mail, but i can't wait cause it's supposed to be verrry good.


In the Land of Invisible Women: A Female Doctor's Journey in the Saudi Kingdom

From amazon: "This memoir is a journey into a complex world readers will find fascinating and at times repugnant. After being denied a visa to remain in the U.S., British-born Ahmed, a Muslim woman of Pakistani origin, takes advantage of an opportunity, before 9/11, to practice medicine in Saudi Arabia. She discovers her new environment is defined by schizophrenic contrasts that create an absurd clamorous clash of modern and medieval..." anyway, interesting.

Cannery Row

My mom called me the other day expressly to recommend this book. From Amazon: "...sentimental in tone while retaining the author's characteristic social criticism. Peopled by stereotypical good-natured bums and warm-hearted prostitutes living on the fringes of Monterey, Calif., the picaresque novel celebrates lowlifes who are poor but happy...Steinbeck knew and understood America and Americans better than any other writer of the twentieth century."


Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex

This is the author who wrote "Stiff: the curious lives of human cadavers" which I enjoyed muchly. & who can resist a title like that??


Murder on the Orient Express

Agatha Christie is my guilty reading pleasure, i love her. Her books are so right out of the 1920s & 30s but it's fun & even though they were written almost 100 years ago i'm still not clever enough to solve the mysteries before she does.

That's what I've got so far. If you need me this summer, I'll be in Grandma Adams' backyard, reading on the swing. with lemonade and a bowlful of berries.

[the costco post, i forgot to make a title]

I am on a blogging spree this 2009 season...7 posts in january, 6 in february, 6 in march, and this is my 4th in april. vas ist das? anywho. i wanted to talk about how costco has some great free samples, which i didn't realize until today because we like to avoid shopping on saturdays like it's the bubonic plague. Today, however; a saturday; we found ourselves in costco. I sampled the following:

• soy nuts
• double chocolate cream pie
• jelly beans
• fruit snacks
• smoothies
• cheese
• vanilla soy milk

There was also an assortment of meats. We all know how i love a good assortment of meats.

Costco.

Summertime oh-nine

Before we leave utah later this summer, and as we'll be living closer to la ciudad de salt lake, there are myriad things i want to do.

• *EDIT #1* I now know what i want to do at the Salt Lake: bike ride around antelope island
• *EDIT #2* Hang out with meagan
• hike up to ensign peak again (it's a special place)
• i want to eat here. I love mediterranean/greek flavors & there are none that i know of in provo.
• Omar's Living Cuisine. Although it looks like the name was recently changed to Omar's Rawtopia. All raw food, nothing cooked over 105 degrees. Intriguing. I love veggies, herbs & falafel so this sounds delish.
• visit the Great Salt Lake, even though i don't know what i'll do when i get there. I've heard it's not all that Great, but the lake also intrigues me. It's so...vast.
  



• tour through the Beehive House, something i did years ago but this time i'll enjoy it more since church history is good times.
• Moab (not near salt lake, but one of my top 5 favorite places) i want to attempt biking the slickrock again, camp, walk across the double arch, and eat breakfast at jailhouse cafe
• i'll be in utah for pioneer day for the first time...surely something terrific happens on that day?
• run into sheri dew at the bountiful grocery store again (she was stocking up on christmas goodies last time)




• basically i'm not sure what else i want to do yet...but i don't want to move away and find myself saying, 'i wish i had done that when i lived in utah'. Oh and that reminds me...hiking mt. timpanogos...except i don't really want to do that, i just feel like i should. but no one i know who's climbed it came down saying, "oh boy that was fun, let's do it again!" so we shall see.
  

quiero viajar, ay!

My latest dream, obsession, yearning, point of research, etc. is roadtripping to south america, or at least to guatemala. Then I could visit mi amiga monica on her mission, which is probably illegal in missionary rules but some things are just technicalities. But honestly, I just think it sounds like the greatest adventure. And DON'T go telling me how dangerous it is! I ain't no fool. See, i've found a whole assortment of travelblogs of people who have done the very thing. Reading them makes me wanderlustful. A trip like this may not occur anytime in the next few years, but there's always...the golden years of life. 

• This couple began their venture to the tip of south america last fall '08. I began reading the archived beginning of their trip and was enthralled, the wheels in my mind began to churn. They also created this website with useful info.
• Another couple is traveling from north carolina to buenos aires.
• And also, this couple (noticing a theme? we are so not reproducing anytime soon) is also headed towards the tip of south america, starting in canada.

Oh and hear this! Aaron had a dream the other night that he and a friend were out doing things and they needed to get away so they were going to purloin a vehicle and head down through Mexico, except one of his cousins was going to tell on him so they stayed in america, & that's as much as he remembers. Anyway point is, he dreamed he wanted to drive to mexico. A sign, no?

[the pan-american highway]